10 Things I Hate At Substance Abuse Recovery Meetings

September 21, 2016
10 Thing I Hate About Meetings 05
By: Tim Myers |

Substance abuse recovery meeting have 10 components that make me scream.

I’ve been sober from alcohol and drugs for over 5 years and substance abuse recovery meetings are the reason why, but there are 10 things at theses meetings that make me want to drink and punch the big book in the face. So here they are, but wait if you prefer to hear me yell about this for 15 min check out the podcast by clicking  here. And without further delay “The top 10 things I hate about hate about
Substance Abuse Recovery Meetings.”

10: Emotional Therapy Animals At Substance Abuse Recovery Meetings.

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There they sit all cute and innocent. Not the dog, the psycho who thinks we are dumb enough to believe that his purse poodle must join him at the damn substance abuse recovery meeting. You are not going to shoot heroin if your dog, princess gum-drop stays home for an hour.

9. People Coming Late To Recovery Meetings, But Share Anyway.

Hi I was 20 minutes late but I have a lot of things to say, basically I don’t care about your substance abuse issues, I just want to here myself taaaaaaalk!

8. Loud Motor Cycles Outside Substance Abuse Recovery Meetings

Sir, the sound your motorcycle is making is the sound of something that is terribly broken. The sad part is, you paid extra for that racket. No one can enjoy “Fellowship” after the meeting because your moron cycle is too busy busting ear drums.

7. Using Fellowship As A Verb.

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Hey man sorry I’m calling so late I was “Fellowshipping” after the meeting. You went to friggin’ TGI Fridays! Just say that, say I went to TGI Fridays. Saying you were fellowshipping doesn’t make your substance abuse issue any better.

6. People At Meetings Who Say, “I haven’t worked this step yet but…”

If you haven’t worked it then shut the hell up. You have nothing to say! I don’t go to the hospital and say, “I’ve never attended medical school but I’m gonna perfrom your open heart surgery” BOTH ARE DEADLY!

5. People Who Use Their Own Nickname At Substance Abuse Recovery Meetings.

“Hi, I’m Little Tony I’m an alcoholic.”
You should drink.

“Billy from Philly, Alcoholic.”
Go back.

4. People who say, I respect the house I’m in.

These same people then talk about drugs for 30 min at an Alcoholics anonymous meeting.
I do not care if you talk about drugs at an AA meeting. I mean, it’s the whole reason we have substance abuse recovery meetings for drug users, but I don’t care. What I care about is that you said you respected AA and then disrespected in the same sentence. You are not sober when you prove that you are a liar, a moron and an asshole in4 seconds.

3. People Who Say F**K Every 3 Words.

So I was F**cking at this place F**cking talking to my F**cking friends about this F**cking Substance abuse recovery meeting. My F**cking dumb F**ck of a F**cking F**ck of a roommate came in and F**cking had on my F**cking shoes.
Learn English before you get sober people, please. This much swearing at substance abuse recovery meetings makes us all look stupid.

2. Recovery Meetings That Run Longer Than 1 Hour.

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You are the only person in the circle who has not shared. 1 minute remains in the substance abuse recovery meeting. Yet, you ramble on for 8 minutes and 37 seconds about how your friend Jimmy was so nice to you at the park when you were a kid. Shut Up!
BE RESPECTFUL OF PEOPLES TIME! If you’re struggling, I’ll listen all night but if you just want to be the cool dude talking, get a cat. They’ll listen.

1. RECOVERED ALCOHOLICS at substance abuse recovery meetings

I know they say it in the book! They also say goose flesh but I don’t come to the meetings wearing a dead goose on my head. You people who call yourselves, recovered alcoholics have an ego the size of the great pyramids. 99% of you have less than a year sober and you need to say “Recovered” so we forget that you barely did any steps . Saying you are recovered sends a message to the new comer that there is a cure for this disease. There is not. You must work at it each day, therefor you are always recovering.

I need to go to a meeting.